That makes sense, and I can see how building across teams and countries would shape that focus on results.
What I’m noticing is that the “quiet” contribution you describe often sits underneath those results, but isn’t always recognised in the same way. The person who steadies things, holds relationships, or creates the conditions for others to perform.
It may be hard to measure, but it’s rarely incidental.
This is such an honest question, and I suspect a quietly common one.
For many of us, “being productive” has been intertwined with identity for decades, so it can take time to notice what is coming from habit and what is coming from genuine curiosity or desire. The shift is subtle but important.
One way of sensing the difference is to ask, does this feel like something I have to justify, or something I feel drawn towards even if no one else ever sees it? The first often carries a slight pressure, the second a quieter sense of interest or aliveness.
Perhaps part of this stage is not rushing to answer the question too quickly, but allowing space to notice what begins to emerge when the need to prove softens.
It’s something I explore through ThriveSpan, how our relationship with work and worth naturally evolves over time, and how we can begin to trust that change rather than override it.
I’ve been thinking about your response - what gives me pleasure, that I have a desire for because I just like it — very different than what I feel like I should do, have done, or sounds impressive! And I like making things - creative things - even when many women (or people in general) think these are old fashion. My most recent Substack post talks about that — I want to make things even if no one else cares. Not sure where I first heard that.
Hi Lucinda, I love how you’ve put that “because I just like it” feels like such a clear and honest marker. And that difference between what we’re drawn to and what we feel we should do is so subtle, but so powerful once you start to notice it. There’s something really grounding about making things simply because you want to, whether or not anyone else sees or values it. Thank you for sharing this, it feels like a really important shift.
Thank you, Lee. I think many people quietly struggle with that transition. When so much of our identity has been tied to projects and productivity, it takes time to discover who we are beyond that. I’m really glad the piece resonated.
I get this, especially the shift toward presence and care.
But building companies across teams and countries has wired me differently, contribution shows up as results first.
That said… I’ve seen the quiet stuff too. The operator who holds the team together without metrics. Hard to measure, but real.
That makes sense, and I can see how building across teams and countries would shape that focus on results.
What I’m noticing is that the “quiet” contribution you describe often sits underneath those results, but isn’t always recognised in the same way. The person who steadies things, holds relationships, or creates the conditions for others to perform.
It may be hard to measure, but it’s rarely incidental.
Definitely a struggle for me. Do I want something "productive" to prove my worth or because I genuinely want something new to do??
This is such an honest question, and I suspect a quietly common one.
For many of us, “being productive” has been intertwined with identity for decades, so it can take time to notice what is coming from habit and what is coming from genuine curiosity or desire. The shift is subtle but important.
One way of sensing the difference is to ask, does this feel like something I have to justify, or something I feel drawn towards even if no one else ever sees it? The first often carries a slight pressure, the second a quieter sense of interest or aliveness.
Perhaps part of this stage is not rushing to answer the question too quickly, but allowing space to notice what begins to emerge when the need to prove softens.
It’s something I explore through ThriveSpan, how our relationship with work and worth naturally evolves over time, and how we can begin to trust that change rather than override it.
I’ve been thinking about your response - what gives me pleasure, that I have a desire for because I just like it — very different than what I feel like I should do, have done, or sounds impressive! And I like making things - creative things - even when many women (or people in general) think these are old fashion. My most recent Substack post talks about that — I want to make things even if no one else cares. Not sure where I first heard that.
Hi Lucinda, I love how you’ve put that “because I just like it” feels like such a clear and honest marker. And that difference between what we’re drawn to and what we feel we should do is so subtle, but so powerful once you start to notice it. There’s something really grounding about making things simply because you want to, whether or not anyone else sees or values it. Thank you for sharing this, it feels like a really important shift.
Definitely a big part of my struggle with transitioning from a working, striving, project focused person to whoever it is I’m becoming.
Thank you so much for writing about this.
Even with my peers it seems to be a somewhat difficult subject to talk about.
Thank you, Lee. I think many people quietly struggle with that transition. When so much of our identity has been tied to projects and productivity, it takes time to discover who we are beyond that. I’m really glad the piece resonated.