The power of saying no

I have 2 videos and an article for you today.

The first video is from the wood, talking about my spring cleaning as I prepare to spend more time there. In the second, I talk about the power of saying no.

What’s interesting with this second one was that I meant to read this article and have the video based on it. But I didn’t have it with me, so it is the same subject, but a different perspective. I hope you find it interesting to both watch and read, and I would love to know what you think.

Spring Cleaning at the Wood

No is an answer

Every request you accept comes at a cost.

If you want more time, energy, or focus, you need to say no more often. It’s not just about being more effective, it’s about protecting your wellbeing. And as we get older, this becomes even more critical.

One of the gifts of ageing is perspective. We begin to see time as our most valuable asset, and we recognise that not everything is worth our energy. Yet, many of us still struggle to say no. We worry about letting people down. We feel guilty for not helping. But constantly saying yes leads to burnout, overwhelm, and even resentment.

What Should You Say No To?

Anything that doesn’t align with the life you want to lead.

You might think, But I have so many obligations, things I have to do! That may be true, but remember: Every yes is also a no. When you say yes to something, you are saying no to something else, often your own priorities, rest, or personal projects that bring you joy and fulfilment.

As we age, we realise we don’t need to be all things to all people. We learn that we have nothing to prove. We’ve already done our years of showing up, saying yes, being agreeable. Now, it’s time to reclaim our time for what truly matters.

If you want to take back control of your time, start practising the art of saying no. Here are two strategies to help.

1. Treat Future Commitments Like They're Tomorrow

It’s easy to say yes to something far in the future. It feels distant. You assume you’ll have time.

Then the day arrives, and you regret it. Why did I agree to this?

A simple trick: When someone asks you to commit to something, imagine it’s happening tomorrow. Would you say yes? If not, you probably won’t want to do it weeks or months from now either.

Instead of automatically saying yes, pause. Ask yourself:

• Would I still agree if this were tomorrow?

• Is this a priority for me at this stage of life?

• What will I have to give up to make space for this?

As we grow older, we also gain clarity on what truly adds meaning to our days. We no longer need to fill our diaries to feel valuable.

Action Step:
Start pausing before answering requests. If you wouldn't say yes for tomorrow, consider saying no.

2. Be Honest: "I'm Already Committed"

How do you say no without feeling bad or offending someone?

Try this: “I want to do a good job with my current commitments, and my plate is full right now.”

Or: “I’m a little overcommitted and wouldn’t be able to give this the attention it deserves.”

This isn’t an excuse—it’s the truth. You are already committed: to your time, energy, and priorities. And at this stage of life, those commitments include honouring your wellbeing. By saying no, you’re not rejecting the person, you’re respecting both your limits and their request by not overcommitting.

Action Step:
Practise saying no in a way that feels authentic to you. Try one of these phrases the next time a request doesn’t align with your priorities.

Final Thought

Saying no is a skill, and the more we practise, the easier it gets. And as we get older, it becomes a form of wisdom, choosing where to invest our time, knowing what truly enriches our lives, and letting go of the need to please everyone.

What’s one thing you can say no to today to make space for what truly matters?